Change Your Shoes! Prayer, neurodiversity and working with asylum seekers.

Kat is an Interserve Partner with autism & ADHD based in the East of England. Here she shares how her experience of neurodiversity shapes her spiritual life and rhythms of prayer alongside her work with asylum seekers and refugees. 

For many people, prayer can feel like a struggle, a long slog, something we just have to do whether we like it or not. This way of seeing prayer has always felt a bit alien to me – perhaps because I’ve been exposed to so many different ways of praying. As a teenager I devoured books about prayer from a wide range of monastics, missionaries, contemplatives and charismatics, and was fascinated by the delicious variety. 

One of my Bible college lecturers used to say, “change your shoes!” If your current way of engaging with God no longer fits, don’t keep trying to squeeze into it, or throw away the idea of prayer entirely – but find a shape and style that fits. I love that God has made each of us unique, with diverse personalities, neurotypes, cultures and tastes – and, like shoes, there are so many exciting prayer ‘styles’ to try, to see what works best for each of us. 

For me, in order to function well, I have to have my morning ‘quiet time’, otherwise my nervous system feels frazzled and throughout the day I feel disconnected from God, others and myself. This is partly my autistic need for routine and rhythm, alongside a deep desire to set the tone for the day with something calm and meaningful. What could be more life-giving than talking with the Creator of the universe and surrendering to Him afresh before heading into whatever situations the day might bring? 

Once there (in my prayer-chair or my garden shed or whatever the particular spot of the season may be), I have a buffet of prayer delicacies to choose from and savour. I love the freshness of trying different things – perhaps this is connected to my ADHD – so I’ve found myself cultivating a wide variety of prayer prompts, a sort of resource bank. It’s refreshing to know that I can always try another prayer ‘habit’ if I feel stuck. There’s no one-size-fits-all with the spiritual life – it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet! 

My day-to-day work with asylum seekers can be emotionally taxing, journeying alongside people who carry immense traumas and have stressful ongoing situations. I try to support people in various practical and pastoral ways and share about Jesus. It’s often chaotic; there’s so much need and opportunity, and there’s always more I’d like to do. However, any long-term transformative work in their lives is really God’s doing – so I realise that I have a responsibility to also keep on praying for those I work with.  

So, in my ‘prayer life’, I need God’s refreshing and filling – I can’t serve from an empty cup. I also need His guidance and wisdom – I can’t do this work alone, and decisions are often difficult. And I’m desperate for Him to be at work in the hearts and lives of those I support – He is the master Gardener, and as I share seeds of the Gospel I long for it to fall on fertile soil. In my prayer ‘buffet’ I try to maintain a vaguely balanced diet, involving various different styles of prayer that connect to these three areas.  

What about you – how do you pray? How do you worship and adore God? What helps you to rest in His love and receive from Him? How do you connect with Scripture? What helps you stay focused as you pray for people you care about? What helps you listen to God’s voice?  

What delicacies does your soul long for in prayer, in this season of your life and work? Why not try something new and delicious this week? 

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